A recent scenario in my life has prompted me to reflect on what it truly means to be a helpful person. I often find myself wanting to help others by offering advice—what to do, what not to do, or how to navigate challenges—essentially, a transfer of information. But I’ve come to realize that what I was trying to transfer wasn’t just intellectual understanding; it was wisdom. The wisdom I’ve gained through my own experiences of pain and suffering, hoping that my advice might help others avoid the consequences of their own mistakes.

As noble as that intent may seem, it can unintentionally rob others of the opportunity to learn their own genuine life lessons. Pain and suffering, as difficult as they are, are the crucibles where life’s most profound lessons are forged. These lessons endure because of the emotions they evoke, anchoring them deeply into our being—much like the way traumatic experiences shape us. Intellectual understanding, on its own, does not equate to wisdom. Knowing something in theory is not the same as living it.

Wisdom is earned through the trials of pain and suffering; it cannot be fully communicated or understood through words alone. This is, perhaps, by design. Life encourages each of us to explore, to take risks, and to experience the world authentically from our own unique perspectives. It is through this personal journey that we come to truly understand the lessons life has to offer.